People confuse me. It’s enough to make me wonder if I suffer some condition as of yet classified; a cousin to Asperger’s, or something such. In a world where “white lies”, dishonestly in the name of saving face (or to save your butt), various forms of deception in relationships and any other such practices are widely acceptable, I’m wondering if there is some type of diagnosis for someone who is basically open (probably a bit too open) and tries to be forthright and honest? Unless I’m swimming deeply in the river of denial, I believe with me “what you see is what you get”.
If I don’t like you I’m not going to pretend to be your friend and add you to my list. I won’t smile at you while speaking sugar coated words to your face, only to turn around and trash you behind your back. Yes, I’ll be respectful towards you, if and when our paths cross—at least up to the point you act like a real jerk to me; I draw the line when it comes to being a doormat for someone to wipe the nastiness of their feet all over.
In my closest relationships, I don’t play games. I don’t plot or scheme or otherwise doing anything deceitful, to cause question or worry.
Thus it is I find it frustrating, and sometimes confusing, to live in this world. I seem to forget that not all people approach life with similar values when it comes to honesty in relationships. You’d think after all the years I’ve lived, I’d be used to it, but, no, I still tend to approach people with the idea they are going to be honest with me; the way I’m honest with them.
I’m not sure which hurts more: finding out some people are really NOT my friend, or me kicking myself for those times when I’m a little too trusting, gullible and otherwise render myself vulnerable.