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~ "Whenever it wants the past can come kicking the door down. And you never know where it's gonna take you. All you can do is hope it's a place you wanna go." from "Hearts in Atlantis".

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Monthly Archives: February 2014

Stronghold Smashers – Free from the Stronghold of Complacency

27 Thursday Feb 2014

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This is an excellent read!

ChristianBlessings

Free from the Stronghold of Complacency

Written by Christian author, Pola Muzyka.

http://strongholdsmashers.com/bible/free-stronghold-complacency/

This is a tricky stronghold that can fool us into assuming we are protected or insulated from harm. When our guard is down, we can be struck from behind by any number of strongholds that can separate us from the blessings God has to give us. Click to tweet.Complacent Chow

 1 Thessalonians 5:3 When people are saying, All is well and secure, and, There is peace and safety, then in a moment unforeseen destruction (ruin and death) will come upon them as suddenly as labor pains come upon a woman with child; and they shall by no means escape, for there will be no escape.

Complacency says, “everything is okay, we have plenty to eat, drink, and we can just go ahead and allow everyone else to choose whatever they want. It’s none of our business if…

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Biblical Peace

27 Thursday Feb 2014

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A worthy reminder of an eternal truth.

ChristianBlessings

Peace with God. Peace with yourself, and Peace with humanity. The Bible describes Biblical peace as something beyond human understanding. Many have searched though life for peace by leaving Christ out of the equation. Peace cannot be found outside of a “suffering Savior”. Christians automatically have peace in their hearts by the same Grace that saves and redeems the human soul. Some call this peace, “soul rest”. Others call it contentment. I call it a great blessing. Jesus is our peace, the Prince of peace.  Glory!

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People Confuse Me

27 Thursday Feb 2014

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Betrayal, friendship, Honesty, Relationships

People confuse me. It’s enough to make me wonder if I suffer some condition as of yet classified; a cousin to Asperger’s, or something such. In a world where “white lies”, dishonestly in the name of saving face (or to save your butt), various forms of deception in relationships and any other such practices are widely acceptable, I’m wondering if there is some type of diagnosis for someone who is basically open (probably a bit too open) and tries to be forthright and honest? Unless I’m swimming deeply in the river of denial, I believe with me “what you see is what you get”.

If I don’t like you I’m not going to pretend to be your friend and add you to my list. I won’t smile at you while speaking sugar coated words to your face, only to turn around and trash you behind your back. Yes, I’ll be respectful towards you, if and when our paths cross—at least up to the point you act like a real jerk to me; I draw the line when it comes to being a doormat for someone to wipe the nastiness of their feet all over.

In my closest relationships, I don’t play games. I don’t plot or scheme or otherwise doing anything deceitful, to cause question or worry.

Thus it is I find it frustrating, and sometimes confusing, to live in this world. I seem to forget that not all people approach life with similar values when it comes to honesty in relationships. You’d think after all the years I’ve lived, I’d be used to it, but, no, I still tend to approach people with the idea they are going to be honest with me; the way I’m honest with them.

I’m not sure which hurts more: finding out some people are really NOT my friend, or me kicking myself for those times when I’m a little too trusting, gullible and otherwise render myself vulnerable.

A Fate Worse Than Death

26 Wednesday Feb 2014

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As it is in Heaven, eternity, Faith, friendship, Greg Laurie, Heaven, Near Death Experience, Randy Alcorn

“A Fate worse than death”; how often have I said those words. Sometimes I’ve used them loosely, other times I’ve meant them quite literally.

Sometimes I marvel as something really awful happens to someone and people remark “they are lucky to still be alive”. There are some circumstances and situations in this life where, if they happened to me, I feel confident to say I would NOT consider myself lucky to still be alive.

Perhaps the difference between me and someone who would say “that person is lucky to be alive” would be what we consider the alternative. Perhaps a factor that comes into play is ones belief as to what happens when this life ends.

Admittedly there is the reality that we never want to lose a loved one to death, not so much for their sake, but for our sake. When they leave us behind we hurt, and we miss them terribly. I know—I’ve experienced it, too.

But as for the topic of an afterlife–I don’t know about you, but I’ve contemplated on it since childhood. I really don’t know why it’s been important to me, but apparently it has been. I was raised to believe in the Biblical Heaven. I have memories of lying on my bed, as a young kid, trying to imagine what it would feel like to move about in Heaven in a disembodied state. I also tried to imagine what we would do, and how we would think and feel.

Based upon the many books that have come out over the past couple decades detailing near death experiences, I know I’m not the only one wanted to know more about Heaven, or for that matter, if there actually is a Heaven. I read one, a top seller almost two decades ago; one my dad read and then recommended to me. I found some of the authors claim’s rather troublesome, and therefore difficult to believe. More recently I read “To Heaven and Back” by Mary C Neal; a book detailing her personal near death experience. I found this to read a lot more plausible than the previously read book. I’ve read bits and parts of a few other books and some blog stories of near death experiences.  I find some of it all to be a little questionable due to details that are conflicting. I think if they all contained “the gospel truth” then they wouldn’t conflict.

Don’t get me wrong, I do believe there are near death experiences. In fact, I have two relatives, that I’ve known personally, who each claim to have had a near death experience.

My great grandfather kept pretty quiet about his near death experience, but he did share of it with my mother. His experience was pretty simple: he left his body, crossed to the “other side” (so to speak), was informed it was not his time so he needed to return to earth, which he did, and that was that.

Several years ago I took a night class. A young pregnant woman, about my age, was also in the class. Some months later she and I crossed paths outside the local WIC office, and spoke briefly. I asked how she was doing, commented on her baby, and she shared with me that she had “died” giving birth. Initially I thought she was speaking metaphorically, as my childbirth experiences had both been “killer”. It was when she said “no, I really died, my heart stopped” I realized she was serious. I was caught off guard so didn’t quite know how to respond, which may have created an awkward moment. As we were standing outside she said she’d best get in out of the cold. We said “good-by” and I have mentally kicked myself many times since, as I missed a wonderful opportunity to learn first-hand what she had experienced.  I wish I could have that moment back.

It was a few years later I learned my 3rd cousin had recently died on an operating table. When I had the chance to talk to her, I didn’t know how to go about asking about her experience without being blunt.  I’d hoped the topic would come up in conversation, but it didn’t. If I had the opportunity now, (as opposed to almost 15 years ago) I’d likely boldly press forward with my questions. But due to my reticence, at that time, I have to rely on the relatives she did share her story with. They tell me she crossed over, was met by her grandfather, my great uncle, and was told her mission in life was not through and she was to go back—which she did.

In more recent years I’ve crossed paths with those who try to “explain” how near death experiences are not so. They “explain” other means whereby the person could think or believe this happened when it did not. These same people also tell me there is no life after this life. Despite their explanations, I do believe we live after this life.

Greg Laurie, in his book “As It Is In Heaven” says: “Remember that Jesus said to the thief on the cross, ‘Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise’. (Lk. 23:43 emphasis added) Paul, who was converted through an encounter with the risen Christ, told the Philippians, ‘My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better’ (Phil. 1:23). He didn’t say, ‘I’ am going to depart and then go into a state of suspended animation or soul sleep or Purgatory or have a stopover in Detroit,’ or something like that! No. He says, ‘I will depart and be with Christ’. “

He, Greg Laurie, refers to this life is the warm up act for life beyond this life. Through the experiences of real people, we see how some people view this life as the only chance there is to do, see and experience everything the heart desires. He helps remind us this life is only a short period compared to eternity.

I think it’s the belief that this life is our one and only shot at existence that motivates some people to believe that a person is “lucky to still be alive”, when their condition is such that, in my opinion, death would be a blessed relief for them.

A couple years ago I discovered the works of author, Randy Alcorn; a man who is well versed in the Bible; with a passion for the topic of Heaven.   He affords in-depth, comprehensive teachings pertaining to Heaven; sharing great Biblically based insights. Before I read from his book titled “Heaven” followed up by listening to a DVD recording of a seminar he did on the topic, I had no idea there was so much information available regarding what we can look forward to in life after this life.

What I learned filled me with great anticipation. In turn this has helped me in my daily life as I try to weigh what is happening in life against eternity. Remembering that the struggles, disappointments and frustrations of today will pass as opposed to the joys of eternity which last forever, helps bring what happens now into perspective.

Quoting from Randy Alcorn: “Maybe you feel as if you’ve passed your peak, physically or emotionally and that your best opportunities are behind you. Perhaps you’re burdened, discouraged, depressed, or even traumatized. Perhaps your dreams—your marriage, career, or ambitions—have crumbled. Perhaps you’ve become cynical or have lost hope.

An understanding of the true Christian teaching about Heaven (not the popular caricatures of Heaven) can change all that. That’s why I wrote “Heaven”, a full length treatment of the subject that deals with all the questions people ask about this great subject.”

For more resources from him go to:  www.epm.org

So, while I am not in a hurry to leave this life (at least most days), when I use the phrase “that would be a fate worse than death”, I don’t always say it just to be glib. I truly believe experiencing Heaven will be wonderful; both intermediate Heaven as well as this earth once it is restored again into Paradise.

Thus it is I thank God, from the depth of my soul, for what Jesus did for me– for us; that which we could not do for ourselves;  that which allows us to be welcomed to Heaven to dwell eternally in the presence of God. I can honestly and truly say there are moments I long for it; I look forward with anticipation to experience eternity in Heaven with those I have come to love in this life. I look forward to meeting you there!

God, I Need You Now!

24 Monday Feb 2014

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I cried when I first listened to this song. I haven’t tried singing along with her recently, so not sure if I could now make it through the song without crying; that’s how powerful and heartfelt the message is.

The Abuse Expose' with Secret Angel

Dear God Please help me, I am not strong enough on my own, I need you now and always… Please take me in your arms and hold me tight… Please protect me from this world and all this pain… Please heal my Heart and Soul and make me whole again. In Your name Amen. ~Karen Kostyla

Someone needs to hear this message today. There are times that we feel that we can not go on and the pain of what we are going through is too much to bare. I can tell you that I have been there.

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HE LIFTS US UP: Just Be Still (Psalm 46:10)

24 Monday Feb 2014

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This is so beautiful, and so true; I’m so happy to be able to share it

ChristianBlessings

I was singing this as a song today so I wanted to share with you…What do you do??

What do you do,
when you have a broken heart?
What do you do,
when your world falls apart?
What do you do,
when your life has been a facade?
What you do is…
Be still! And know that there is a God.

What do you do,
when you are tricked by a guy?
What do you do,
when you’ve innocently lived a lie?
What do you do,
when you have loved a fraud?
What you do is…
Be still and know that there is a God.

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My Time of Silence

22 Saturday Feb 2014

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Autism, Down Syndrome, DPchallenge, joy, peace, sorrow, special needs child, trials, trust in God

It was in the early ‘70’s that I was first exposed to the song. One of my mom’s youngest brothers had come to stay at our home a short period of time after graduating high school. He was excited about this song and artists he’d discovered and was sharing the music with my mom. The song was “The Sound of Silence” by Simon and Garfunkel. Hence the beginning of my love and appreciation for Simon and Garfunkel and all the beautiful music they created.

However it would be many years to come before I would fully appreciate the meaning behind their words.

“Hello darkness, my old friend,
I’ve come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence.”

While I’ve had many seasons of sorrow in my life, the most profound, to date, began July 15, 2004. I was two and a half years into my second marriage. This day found me, my husband, my son and a few extended family members at the maternity ward of the hospital, eight days prior to the originally scheduled date, for a caesarian delivery of the baby I was carrying in a breach position.

This pregnancy was not something I’d have written into my life plan, but I do believe, for reasons I still don’t clearly understand, it was a part of Gods plan. At the time of this baby’s birth my youngest child had just celebrated his 15th birthday. My firstborn was stationed in Germany, serving as an Intel Analyst in the Army. Prior to this pregnancy I’d had visions of pursuing the college degree I should have pursued as a youth, but didn’t due to fear and the programing of my upbringing.

As he had no children from his first marriage, my husband was ecstatic about the forthcoming birth of this child; his one and only. I cried the day it was confirmed I was pregnant; mine were not tears of joy.  My husband, on the other hand, was so excited he had me use four pregnancy test strips—just to be sure.

Perhaps in part due to my husband’s delight over this surprise in our lives, I soon warmed to the idea of another child, despite the life changes I knew were ahead of me. Due to a curious experience I’d had when my son was only a year and a half old, I was convinced this child would be born a girl.

As with both previous pregnancies, with this pregnancy I was careful to eat healthy and abstain from anything that could or would be harmful to my unborn child. Aside from feeling horrifically nauseous the first few months I had an uneventful and otherwise “normal” pregnancy; that is until the last few weeks when the baby wouldn’t turn into the birthing position.

I was given the option to allow the medical people to attempt turning the baby. I opted to forgo that procedure because, no matter who I spoke with, no matter what I read, I did not feel good about that option.

July 14th I went to my scheduled doctor appointment, after experiencing some pains the day before, and learned that “this baby needs to come now”. So it was the date for her delivery was moved ahead by eight days and we were to the hospital on time that July 15th.

My darling baby was brought into the world and promptly whisked to the nursery without my even being able to look at or hold her. While I was on the delivery table being sewn up, the pediatric doctor and my husband came to where I was lying so the doctor could informed me she suspected our baby might have Down Syndrome and gain my permission to run some tests.  In the moments to follow my body went into shock. No matter how many warm blankets, no matter how many reassuring words a nurse offered, I couldn’t stop shaking. I didn’t need them to run any tests, I already knew.

While I didn’t realize the significance as they happened, during those nine months of pregnancy I saw children with Down Syndrome practically everywhere I went. I swear I saw a different special needs child about every time I went to Costco. One day I stopped at a crosswalk to let a group of kids, accompanied by a few adults, cross the street. All of the children had Down Syndrome. Just prior to my baby’s birth I spent time researching for reasons she might be breach. One possibility suggested Down Syndrome; an option I quickly refused to accept.

Of those moments after her birth, it was then that I then knew.

The days to follow were some of the most painful, heart wrenching days of my life. I had to fight to see my baby as, it seemed, the nursery doctors were so reticent to release her. Their excuse was a little water in her lungs at birth, for which they gave her oxygen. But she was otherwise very healthy.  As they were wheeling me to my room after delivery, I was the one who said, “Shouldn’t I be able to see my baby?” It was as though they thought I didn’t even want to!”

I think it was day three of her life Brian accompanied Elayna for her first hearing test. As I sat alone in the hospital room I sobbed the tears of a broken heart as I cried out, silently, to God, telling him this was the hardest trial he’d ever given me. In that moment I truly believed this to be so.

And so began a time of silence in my life. While I did not cut myself off from God, I did close off from the world. We’d been living in the city close to shopping and the many other perks of city life I so enjoyed. Three months after Elayna’s birth we moved into a house in a very quiet, rural, migrant farm workers town. The house we purchased backs up to farmland.

While I didn’t realize it at the time, we purchased solitude and silence.

Many are the hours I spent rocking in a chair, holding my infant child as I gazed out across that fog laden farmland simply absorbing and relishing the quiet. No longer did I listen to beloved music contained on dozens of CD’s. The TV remained off during the day. I no longer phoned my favorite sister in law for weekly chats. Brian was away to work most of the day; my son spent his days at school; Elayna and I spent our days at home in the solitude of silence; a reality I didn’t seem to be aware of for the time I experienced it.

Because my child hadn’t died, I didn’t recognize, at the time, that I was grieving. Because I didn’t recognize I was grieving, it wasn’t until much later I came to see and understand the months and years to follow served as a time of healing. I don’t fully understand how, nor do I understand why; I just know that it did. It was an early summer day when I recognized I’d crossed the abyss and was ready to come back and dwell amongst the living.

On this particular day, as I stood at our patio door watching my little toddler joyfully playing outside amidst the wonder of God’s creations, I recognized within my heart this incredible feeling of love for my child. I assure you this was absolutely not the first time I felt the love I have for her, but there was something uniquely different about my feelings just then. In that moment I’d come to a place of true peace about her disabilities, and I realized how much I truly loved her just as she is.

I recognize now, I’d come to a place where at last I could place my hand and my heart, in an act of trust, in God. While I didn’t, and still don’t, understand his purpose in creating my child with Down Syndrome, a condition further complicated with the effects of Autism, he is in control, and I can trust him that ultimately all will be well. In the meantime, I had found acceptance with what is; I was at last at peace about it.

Beginning that day and in the years to follow, despite the inherent challenges of raising a child– let alone a child with special needs requiring additional effort and infinitely more patience on the part of her caregivers; I can find joy in living. Our house has long since been filled with music; with laughter; with energy and fun. Our time of silence had passed; a time that served us well in its intended purpose, until we could leave sorrow behind and find our way back to joy.

MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA  elayna-crop

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Adultery is Destructive

22 Saturday Feb 2014

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This is a powerful message, and sadly so applicable to the days we are living in now.

The Abuse Expose' with Secret Angel

Adultery is destructive. It’s devastating! Unfortunately, many people do not understand the traumatic effects of adultery until they have been a victim of this infidelity.

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The Tuesday Girls

19 Wednesday Feb 2014

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friendship, loneliness, personality type, social groups, social needs

My maternal grandmother was a very social woman; and a woman who made things happen. Sometimes she would suggest I was like her; I don’t necessarily see that.

 If one were to go by the color code of personalities she was a “red” with the possibility of a splash of “yellow” added in; both of which I am definitely not.

A brief description of a “red” personality is one who needs to look good technically (definitely her), be right (absolutely her) and be respected (yup, that was my grandma). “Reds” are also strong leaders and they love challenges. My grandmother was most definitely a “red”. I think the “yellow” showed up in her when it came to social connections. Grandma was a social person; however, when it came to social things, she was typically the one in charge; she was generally the one who initiated events to begin with.

I, on the other hand, based upon a legitimate test administered and assessed by a professional in the field, test out to be a mix of “white” and “blue”. A very brief description of the “white” personality is one who needs to be accepted and treated with kindness.  “Whites” are logical, objective and tolerant of others. They are well balanced, sensible, cautious, and think carefully before acting. “White” personalities desire simplicity.  They tend to be self-sufficient and a loner; the latter being something that can cause times of loneliness. The” blue” aspect of my personality is described as one who needs to have integrity and to be appreciated. “Blues” focus on quality, and create and value strong relationships.  “Blues” relate to one on one communication. They tend to have a strong devotion to a cause or concept they believe in. As I read up on these personality types, I find I feel a real sense of validation as I see myself described therein.

This morning, in contemplating the sense of loneliness I feel, I found my thoughts leading back to my grandmother.  (Grandma is now deceased having lived a little over 90 years). In her lifetime she was very involved in numerous organizations, many of them being church related. However, I was thinking specifically about a group she organized and named “The Tuesday Girls”. This was a club, of sorts, where a group of women she knew met weekly, on a Tuesday (hence the name), typically at her home. At these weekly meetings the women would participate in luncheons, craft activities, verbal book reviews, or simply good conversation.

At the time my grandmother was actively involved with this group, I lived in Tooele, Utah where I was actively involved in my local church, my home life, community events, and with awesome friends who were also my neighbors. I loved the town I lived in; I was happy with the community, and I liked the region in which I lived. At that time in my life I didn’t have a need to create a formal social group to me my social needs.

Now I find I’m a decade and a half older, living in a vastly different social environment, in a different part of the country.  I find I am at a place where many of the things my grandmother did now make sense. I see much value in her organizing social groups, such as her “Tuesday Girls”.

I find I now contemplate attempting such a venture. And yet, in the next moment I realize I have very little faith such a venture would launch for me. I wonder if my grandma ever concerned herself with the possibility of failure. Somehow I find that hard to imagine—if she ever did it was never evident, at least not to me. Based on her nature, I’m more inclined to think failure was simply not a part of her vocabulary or thought process.  If she decided something was going to happen, then “by golly” it was going to happen. Herein lies one clear example of how I am different from my grandmother.  

According to Grandma, she started the group for the benefit of the other women. She saw a select number of women who were not included into the inner circles of the church organization. She determined there was a social need amongst them, so she started this group as a means to get these women together to meet their social needs. If Grandma saw me now she’d likely start up a group similar, so as to meet my social need.

Come to think of it, perhaps Grandma saw some of these things in me all along. In reality I have always tended to be less social. I’ve been comfortable with having only a few select friends, and I’m often comfortable with simply my own company. Despite this, over the years Grandma would advise me to get involved, to go on dates with my spouse, to have friends, to do this, to do that, etc. etc. I don’t know that I needed the advice so much then, but I find it interesting to hear her advice coming back to me now. It’s rather like she planted seeds that remained dormant for some time but now are beginning to spring forth about the time when, rather paradoxically, I seem to need them.  

The challenge now is to figure out where to find the will and the drive to make something happen. I’d so much prefer to have my life and my circumstances conveniently laid out to fit my need rather than to have them so opposing to my need that to change circumstances requires me to be proactive.

I guess I’ll have to weigh out what I need most and determine how much of my personal comfort I’m willing to sacrifice. Sometimes, it would seem we are more comfortable in our misery than we are comfortable in making changes that go against our grain.

 In the meantime I think I’ll heed my daughter’s suggestion to take a salsa dance class next term, offered through the community education program.

If there is one passion I do share with my grandmother, it’s a love for dancing. Thus, I think that’s a good place to start.

Ramblings of a cluttered mind

18 Tuesday Feb 2014

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ADD Attention Deficit Disorder, Autism, clutter, disorganization, distractions, Down Syndrome, grandchild, nutrition, organizational skills, supplements, surrender

By nature I have a disorganized mind; I have multiple thoughts flowing at one time and even the slightest distraction can take me off in another direction in a nanosecond. This might be challenging enough if I lived in solitude. But, at present I live with: my spouse; two adult children; my “baby”,  a pre-teen daughter who has Down-syndrome and Autism;  my 9 month old granddaughter, whom I babysit while her mother finishes her senior year of college. And the females keep me in constant distraction; all three of them.

As a child growing up, I didn’t recognize being different than any other children. My reality was comprised of:  being easily overwhelmed by a messy bedroom to the point I simply couldn’t take the project on without help; lying on the grass, in summer, for hours at a time whilst staring up into a gorgeous blue sky watching clouds float by; being perpetually late due to a combination of too many distractions, both in getting ready for and along my walk to school; suffering constant reprimands for “dawdling”, “daydreaming” and the like. I thought this was a reality everyone shared; it wasn’t until adulthood I learned differently.

In the meantime, due to the demands of life, I learned ways and means of functioning and managing my time so as to get on well with the world around me. Learning to keep my exterior world and surroundings organized helped immensely in coping with my very disorganized interior world.

Actually it is when my son was in first grade that I learned about ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). Not ADHD mind you; like me he does not “suffer” with hyperactivity. (Sometimes I wonder if it would be helpful if I did). Thus it was, even though he is my second child, and the first does not have ADD, I didn’t think anything of the way he seemed to process life; it seemed perfectly normal to me. Apparently his teacher thought otherwise. Thus it was she who proposed he had ADD and informed me there is medication for it.

However, to know me is to know I’m very conservative when it comes to drugs. In consulting with a friend I was informed there are nutritional supplements that are useful in helping treat such conditions, so we chose to forgo the drugs and try the nutritional stuff instead. While I have every confidence our brain needs proper nutrition; and, I’ve learned, adequate sleep, I’m of the conclusion nothing will “cure” this unique way of processing. In the meantime, I’ve taken on the belief the way our brain works, (those of us who process in the manner to which we’ve been given the label ADD), is not necessarily a “bad” thing.

Apparently we process our experiences and thoughts differently and while some of us may find it extremely difficult to remain linear when telling a story, or to remain diligently focused on a project start to finish without concerted effort to shut out exterior distraction, we also have a lot to offer the world. I’d take time to list specifics in here, but to do so would require my doing research, which would only lead me on a tangent in which I might get lost on the internet for hours. As I’d like to wrap up my thoughts here, so as to get on to the task of actually cleaning up some of the clutter surrounding me, I’ll try to stay focused. This reminds me—

When I first sat down to write my thoughts were more or less to point out that where I have such a cluttered mind I “NEED” to live in a very organized environment to function at maximum efficiency. My first husband was, and likely still is, a very organized person. In that regard he was a real compliment to my life. It was never a struggle to keep our living environment neat and tidy and organized because his organizational skills paved the way for me to be able to keep our home that way. As for the yard and garage, he took care of that so I didn’t even need to think about it. It’s a shame there was that other “thing” of his, the “thing” that made it so I simply could not continue living with him.

Before my youngest child was born, a child with my current husband, I had both time and energy to keep a neat and semi-orderly house; this being managed despite the odds against me. In the past couple years, and especially this last year, I’ve found this to be a losing battle. In the past couple months I hit a point where I simply gave up and waved the white flag.

This is not to say I do nothing all day but blog and play on the internet. I still struggle along keeping up the critical matters of clean dishes, mopped floors, scrubbed toilets, clean laundry, etc. But I’ve stop fighting the clutter perpetrators. You know the people who function on the “let the crap fall, sit, store where it most easily drops, fits, goes” level. How they ever find anything later is a mystery to me. That they marvel to find hidden mysteries lurking below serves to humor me.

But most of all, that I am able to mostly turn a blind eye to the chaos without going insane is the most incredible thing of all. Well actually, to be honest, I’ve not turned a blind eye. I still see it; I’m simply choosing to not allow it to make me completely nuts.  And while I say I’ve waived my white flag of surrender, this may not be the most accurate depiction of my true intent.

The fact is, I cannot fathom living in clutter for the rest of my days. Perhaps it’s better to say: for the moment, while I’ve got other things more pressing (including tending to a very busy baby- at my age no less!), I’m resting. (Well again, that’s not the most accurate terminology, but you get my drift…)

My daughter will soon graduate from college at which time I anticipate she and my darling grandbaby will move to their own home. Then it’s “look out!” as, in borrowing a term from my “ex”, I’m going to “dung out” this place and once again restore order…even if it kills me in the process. (Dramatics and exaggeration fully intended)  🙂

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past musings

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“and the survey says…”

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