Welcome to my world



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I’m so excited about the opportunity to blog. I love good conversation and in a perfect world I’d have a big beautiful porch with rockers and other similar seating, days warmed by sunshine,  iced tea and lemonade for refreshment, and the company of close friends and loved ones where we were all engaged in conversation sharing thoughts, feelings and a lot of laughs.

However, this is not my present reality, much as I’d love it to be, so I find I do the best I can with what I have. While a blog is not a personal two way conversation, it will serve as a good medium wherein I can share my thoughts, feelings and opinions.I hope I am able to write things that are edifying, entertaining or otherwise enjoyable to read. I’d really enjoy positive feedback.

I will also use this forum as a means to share some of the good reads I enjoy. I have a passion for learning and I also enjoy good fiction. Since childhood I’ve been a real mystery buff. Most of my blogging will be on non-fiction, however, as I want to share about some of the good and edifying work that I come across.

With any luck I’ll be able to write something that resonates with you, enough so that you look forward to hearing from me again.

Until then…         Gina Torso shot-crop

Even If

In thinking back on it, I realized I could have guessed something was coming. Yes I did notice and think it curious that this song kept playing through my mind; when I say continuous I mean it very literally, for the previous 48 hours.

I do like the song, very much. I was very touched by its message the first time I heard it. But to wake in the middle of the night to hear it playing in my mind, after noting it was playing in the background of my mind (each time I paid attention) throughout the day, struck me as curious.

So within the first day or so after waking up in inexpressible pain, the fact that song had played through my mind continuously for 48 hours prior to being struck with this trial was not lost on me. That very first morning, prior to being able to take a first dose of prescription pain meds, I cried out to God: “WHY THIS!”

I’ve known pain and I’ve known sorrow, but to date, I have never known endless physical pain in the level it is debilitating.

When, on the third day, something shifted somewhere within my hip/back, so that the intense, continuous nerve pain settled down to a low roar, rather than an intense roar, I was so thankful. For the first time I could now carefully hobble on my feet, as opposed to only being able to crawl, and even sometimes not being able to manage that as the attempt left me lying on the floor crying in pain.

Thankfully after a week that included a massage and a chiropractic visit, the pain became bearable so long as I was continuously on medication. After a second chiropractic visit and massage there were days I was able to go long stretches with minimal medication in my waking hours, but nights were terrible. I was waking every two hours in terrible pain that had me taking another Excedrin and hobbling about to shake things loose, then massaging  pain rub up and down my entire leg from my hip to my ankle on the outer side of my thigh and shin. The pain seemed to originate from my hip joint.

I’d yet to see a primary care physician as I’d lost touch with the one I’d found four years earlier as she had moved from the facility where I once saw her, and I didn’t know where she’d gone. Thus far I’d only been able to get into see a Holistic Doctor. He set me up with natural pain meds and the massage therapy. The natural pain meds worked along with the OTC drugs and helped reduce my use of the harsher medications; I appreciated this as I worry about the health of my liver. The massages helped ease the tightness of my muscles from the cramping that came with the pain.

By the end of week two I was doing better in the day time, as far as pain. I was still unable to walk or be on my feet for more than a couple minutes at a time. However, the loss of sleep for not only me, but also my husband was taking its toll. My husband insisted I go to the ER for an MRI as thus far we’d failed to get a referral for one from the Holistic Dr. As this problem was not resolving on its own, we wanted to find out just what the problem is.

A visit to the ER turned out to be frustrating at best. As I feared, the ER doctor deemed an MRI unnecessary. She must have had a preconceived determination of my condition even though she didn’t actually even examine me. She politely but condescendingly informed me MRI equipment is very sophisticated machinery and as I’m not a professional athlete or dancer I didn’t need one. I figure what she meant but wasn’t saying is that as I’m a lowly housewife who likely strained a muscle reaching too far across the coffee table for another bon-bon while watching my soaps, I merely needed a shot in the ass (which she provided) along with a prescription for a sedative, which she prescribed. The shot for pain actually caused me more pain as my leg muscles were already extremely tender. The sedative did NOTHING for reducing pain which is what was preventing me from sleeping at night.

The only good thing that came from the ER visit is they are a part of the same network that my previous primary physician is a part of and thus through a serious of phone calls I was able to get an appointment with her two days later. From her I was issued a prescription for drugs that actually afforded me a full five hours of sleep before waking with pain and I’ve a schedule MRI to see what the heck is going on with inside my hip and leg.

The day after my appointment with my primary physician my husband was driving me to another massage appointment. On the way, on the radio this song came on again. It was the first time I’d heard it in over two weeks. I recognized it with the first few notes and said to husband: “This is my theme song”. Normally I’ll sing along with the songs I really love but this time I could not as almost immediately I began to cry and continued to cry through the whole song.

Before my massage the holistic Doc came in asking some question and had me lie on my back then asked me to lift my right leg, which I did with no problems. He then instructed I do the same with my left; just attempting to lift it cause sharp pinched nerve pain to radiate in my hip and groin.

After my massage, while in the car waiting for my husband to buy slushies for the girls, I, seemingly randomly, tucked my right foot under my left thigh. I then pulled my right knee towards my chest holding it in a mild stretch. I then let go of my knee and for unexplained reasons it seemed to suddenly drop. In process of that drop I heard and felt a very loud POP in my groin. It scared and startled me, but I quickly realized I felt no pain so hoped it was not a negative. On the way home as I told Brian about it I realized the pain in my hip seemed to have eased up.

The next morning, although I still HAD to take narcotics to sleep (that pain is still alive and well) I noted my gait is improved. Then I got curious so laid on my back on the floor and repeated the leg lift. This time I was able to lift my left leg with NO pain!!

In sharing about this to my adult daughter, she suggested it quite likely my hip had popped out of socket!!

What’s scary about this is if this is correct, then I have almost three weeks of possible damage due to it not being corrected right away. As I’ve had a slippy joint for some time, (I now recognize the many symptoms of the past to suggest this) I’ll go ahead with the MRI as I still have plenty of pain and discomfort and don’t have any desire to go back to for a repeat of the past weeks.

In the meantime, even though I’m not back to normal, I’m so very thankful to be as improved as I am. I do have HOPE of healing, but NO MATTER what happens, what I now know, in my heart and soul, is “even if” it is well with my soul. I now know the Lord is with me, and He cares, and He’ll carry me through come what may.

Measure of Success


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It was the ultimate goal; heralded by the average red blooded American, and this person believed in it fully; they had the will, the determination and the drive to make it happen.

And make it happen, they would at all costs. While others wasted precious time in recreation recreation-1238050

marriage bouquet-1406878

and children, a-child-1431845

christmas-worship-1313279personal or

group worship,presbyterian-church-1233017

and other worthy and worthwhile pursuits,

this motivated soul deemed them unnecessary and sacrificed all for the fulfillment of “the” dream.

Alas, the hard work paid off!

With the mortgage paid on their million dollar condo condo-shots-1222076

And designer labeled clothing and shoes packed in the newly acquired designer Luggage ready-to-go-1472989

And five Star Hotel reservations lined up at various  points around the globe greece-hotel-1222019

And tomorrow marked as the day to, at last, set sail in the newly purchased Catalina 425 Yacht


All the hard work, long hours, and other sacrifices seemed well worth it.

On the road home from running last minute errands  came an unexpected downpour, in which the sleek Alpha Romeo, yet another  prized and cherished possession,nice-car-alpha-romeo-1454825

began to hydroplane and spun out of control, thus becoming mangled beyond recognition when impacting a very solid immovable object. In mere seconds came about the end of life for both driver and car.175017523

No more would they reside in the luxury condo, or have use or need of the designer luggage currently housing the exquisite designer clothes. Despite the time, toil and sacrifice made, they would never now set sail in the gorgeous yacht that was an integral part of the long desired dream vacation.

Never again would they, or anyone else, ever again drive that dream car.


Their last earthly breath had been spent; all the sacrifices, all the missed opportunities that allowed for the acquisition of the fine worldly possessions, was now in vain, as not one of the possessions could be taken or used where this person would now exist.

Yes, they had stored up treasure, but…..

Matthew 6:19-21

19 Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:

20 But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:

21 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

Luke 12:16-21

16 Then He told them a parable: “A rich man’s land was very productive.17 He thought to himself, ‘What should I do, since I don’t have anywhere to store my crops? 18 I will do this,’ he said. ‘I’ll tear down my barns and build bigger ones and store all my grain and my goods there. 19 Then I’ll say to myself, “You have many goods stored up for many years. Take it easy; eat, drink, and enjoy yourself.”’

20 “But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life is demanded of you. And the things you have prepared—whose will they be?’

21 “That’s how it is with the one who stores up treasure for himself and is not rich toward God.”

A warning for your discernment


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If what I’ve just pieced together is for real, we’ve something very serious on the near horizon.

But as I cannot say for certain, having not received personal confirmation of it, at least not yet, I leave this for each who sees it for your prayerful discernment:

On Friday, April 14 I listened to the following video. I’ll admit the warning he shares, at about 8 minutes in, gave me pause for concern.


Then today I saw the following, in the comments section of a completely unrelated video:

” I awoke this morning to a dream that a small muslim boy was whispering to me that in 3 days something huge was going to happen and the muslims were doing some attack. He was terrified. I knew it was a huge thing, and for some reason the Lord hid from me the details spoken to me in the dream.”

(posted by Barbara Alexandria on Thursday, April 20th 2017)

Upon reading what this person shared of her dream of last night, the aforementioned warning, which now really has my attention, came immediately to mind. The first thing I did was recall what day today is followed by a finger count.

Depending on how you count, 3 days from today could be either Saturday, or it could be Sunday.

So, if her dream is truly a warning from God, and if the speaker of the above posted video is truly receiving a warning from God, then those of us who attend church might do well to pray for discernment and guidance.

And no matter what we do, we need to each, individually, ensure our heart is right with our maker, as even if NOTHING out of the ordinary happens this Sunday, we really can’t ever know which day is our last day in this mortal life.

That said, the above quotation is found in the comments section of this video:




Ounce of prevention


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I’ve just spent the past 3 ½ days in pain hell!!

And the worst of it is, it could have all been prevented…if only I’d….you know, famous last words, as they say.

My late grandmother was often wont to quote: “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure”



In theory, I truly do see the wisdom in this; the problem is when one’s life seems too busy to take a moment to exercise the “ounce of prevention”.

About the time it takes a “pound of cure” to fix or correct what once would have only taken an “ounce” is about the time one really wishes one had taken that moment, as the “cure” so often takes far more in every way.

After a fitful night of sleep, unable to get comfortable and experiencing pain with every attempt to move, I awoke Sunday morning intending to get up to use the toilet only to collapse back upon my bed in a scream, as pain radiated from my foot up my leg in an intensity unlike anything I can recall ever experiencing.

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I very literally had to crawl on hands and knees to the toilet whereupon I used my arms to hoist myself up only to be overcome with nausea and lightheadedness.

Life experience has taught me this is the forerunner to passing out, something I had no desire to do while half naked (or any condition otherwise for that matter), which is why mere seconds later I was lying on the cold floor while waves of nausea subsided.

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While others celebrated Easter (hopefully) joyfully, I spent Easter Sunday ingesting a cocktail of drugs: anti-spasm, anti-inflammatory, and anti-pain.

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While I was extremely thankful for the drugs, as prior to their effectiveness kicking in, thoughts of death held a definite appeal; nothing eliminated the pain, at best they kept it tolerable.

And one false move (of which I unintentionally managed many) sent what felt like 220 volts of shock waves coursing up and down my leg.download (5)

Gravity became my enemy as lowering my leg from couch to floor was an experience equal to torture. Walking was a thing of my past; with enough drugs I could hobble when absolutely necessary.

Physically, even though I’m rather a little woman, I’m still pretty tough, both physically and emotionally. But this experience; this pain, brought me to my knees, figuratively, and brought me to tears, literally. On a scale of 1 to 10, it was off the charts (well okay, but it was definitely a 10).images

Initially I thought I had a sciatic nerve being pinched. From a phone call on Monday, the chiropractor I used to see, whom I’ve haven’t seen in years (who the heck has the time for such things) said he wouldn’t see me until I saw a medical doctor and got a scan done to see what the actual problem was.

Dang, I didn’t even have a primary physician; last one I had moved elsewhere and I was too busy to get around to finding another.

Thankfully a friend recently filled in for someone who works at a local Homeopathic, Holistic medical practice; a clinic where they were happy to fit me in the very next day.

My husband was a bit concerned with what he witnessed as this doctor examined me and then pushed and held onto various parts of my feet and pelvis.images (7)Smartly-pants husband later said he wondered if Doctor might start chanting.

All I know is I slept better last night, and this morning, while stretching my back, I felt something give way just a little; enough so that it no longer felt like I had electric pulses coursing through my leg. I figured something eased a little pressure off of the pinched nerve.

Today in a visit to a massage specialist, (same clinic), I learned I didn’t have symptoms of sciatica but instead am dealing with other pinched nerves.images

Thanks to our fantastic resource, the internet, I was able to learn where a few of the different nerves run, and their function, which helped me determine the highest probability is I’ve pinched femoral nerve, and saphenous nerves.1452198295_lateral-femoral-cutaneous-nerve

What’s really amazing is this also sheds light on a chronic issue I’ve been dealing with for SIX YEARS for which even a “specialist” only did a best guess at my “mystery” issue!!

For years I’ve thought I had a bone issue, but the very spot where I have unnatural sensitivity is exactly where the saphenous nerve runs along the medial border of the tibia (inner side of my shin bone). Finally, at last, even that problem now makes sense.

It is that VERY spot I accidentally smacked Saturday night; the night where only a few hours later, I started having serious pain all up and down my leg that led me to waking up with an inflamed pinched nerve mess!

Turns out the saphenous nerve runs the length of the leg.

The femoral nerve affects the outer portion of the thigh; that and the front of my thigh were rock hard when I arrived at the massage therapist’s office.

My next visit is to a chiropractor, tomorrow, to get my spine realigned as my hips are where the nerves run through  download (8) and I know my hips are out of alignment.

My next assignment, for now, is a hot soak in an Epsom salts bath.download (9)

My next massage is Tuesday.

My advice: listen to your body, be careful with your body, spend a little of your resources to tend to problems when they arise rather than waiting until you are in such pain you’d rather be dead.

Had I listened to my husband, I’d have been in for a massage Saturday, after waking up that morning feeling a twinge. I didn’t go because I was “too busy”; I had too much to do to take the time.

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One hour of time for one massage on Saturday would have relaxed my muscles; the very muscles and ligaments that, via inflammation, pinched those nerves.

Instead I’ve paid a HUGE price in pain, suffering, tears, and lots of time I couldn’t accomplish much of anything beyond surviving, over that choice.

Another of grandma’s favorites was: a stitch in time saves nine. images (10)I just “paid” ten stitches, next time I’m catching it when it’s only one.

Oh Delilah….


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“Temptation often comes in attractive packages:


desirable, appealing and very costly.

It promises life but brings death.”


“Is there a Delilah in your life now?”


“For temptation to do its damage there must be a desire on our part.”


“The apostle James wrote, “Each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed–

the-garden-of-earthly-delights-1910085_960_720Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death” (James1:14-15)”

“In other words… for Satan to succeed, we must listen, yield, and desire what he offers. Our adversary will use different types of bait to tempt us. But, remember, it’s  not the bait that constitutes sin; it’s the bite!”


Quoted text from the book “The Greatest Stories Ever Told”  by Greg Laurie

The photos inserted by me.

The End of the Line?


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I had two things happen this last week:

The first:

Before waking I had a very short dream


in which I heard in my mind: Ezekiel 38.

Shortly thereafter I woke up, not remembering anything about the dream but knowing I needed to read that chapter in the Old Testament. I’ve heard it mentioned fairly often over the past year, and thus knew it had something to do with a major battle prophesied to take place with Israel in the last days prior to the “second coming” return of Christ.


However, I’d yet to read it, so realized I was being instructed to do so now. In starting to read my mind immediately checked out; typical response when approached with something my mind is not accustomed to understanding. (Think: Attention Deficit Disorder, aka A.D.D.)


Believing this something I was to read, I prayed for my mind to be able to comprehend what I was reading; after which the text became clear, understandable and, surprisingly, actually interesting.

Three days later as I sat down for study time (again in the pre-dawn hours).

I reached over for my little devotional book and bible.

I dropped my bible in my lap so I could open my daily devotional book.

Normally my bible drops into my lap closed but this time it flopped open;


what was really curious was it opened to an Old Testament chapter that, until very recently, I didn’t even know existed: Zephaniah.

Not only did it flip open this obscure, “probably best known for being the least known book of the entire Bible” (a mere three chapters, comprised of only three pages), it opened to the page upon which chapter 1 begins.

Looking down at the open book in my lap, I felt compelled to read. Unlike what would be my typical response, I had the feeling this wasn’t a mere coincidence.

Upon sharing this occurrence with my spouse, he looked and spoke skeptically of it; his attitude being it merely coincidence.


To test it out (or more to prove it not), this morning I sat down and dropped, in similar manner, my bible onto my lap, multiple times, to see what would happen.

All but one time it did as normally happens: it landed on my lap closed.


The one time I “manipulated” it to cause it to open, it did what makes sense: it opened to where I’ve placed a folded church bulletin; this making sense as the bulletin is thicker than the whisper thin pages of the bible, thus creating a natural division.

What struck me as I began to read, is the entire “book” (three pages) is comprised of writing prophesying of end times battles, judgement and the ultimate deliverance of Israel in the “last days” aka “end times”.


That my attention has been drawn to the events of prophecy of this last days battle; a battle that will usher in the tribulation period and the happenings of the last days leading up to the return of our Lord, Jesus Christ, not once, but twice in this one week gets my attention.

My feeling is this is not something that should be lost on me. I can’t help but feel the Lord is, in effect, giving us a heads up. I believe we are on the crest of something big coming; I believe the most important place for our attention is in being spiritually ready.


A Defining Question

The following is a beautifully written blog that can speak to the heart in all of us; I hope the message blesses you as it has done for me.


Over the past week or so, my brother has gotten really into our family’s history. My ancestry. Genealogy. And I’m not gonna lie, it’s pretty awesome. We’re talking 16th century London – ancestors who were contemporaries — and practically neighbors – with Shakespeare! But soft…


But I think it’s really fascinating how all of these DNA tests have broken out on the scene: Ancesty.com, 23 & Me – we all have this deep longing to know where we come from. Who we are. Which, I can tell you right now, no answer to any DNA test is gonna answer that doosey.

I spent a long time trying to answer that question: Who am I? Because recovering from an eating disorder forces you to answer that whether you like it or not. You’ve spent years merely existing as a shell of yourself – gone are your passions, dreams, ideas, personality…

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In The Hot Seat

Such an enjoyable read, yet such an awesome message–I love it when I can get both in one.


I’m living the life of one of those 60-year-old “ladies who lunch.”

Seriously. All I need is a red hat, and false teeth and I’ll be ripe for initiation into bridge club. Or bunko.


Juuuust kidding.

But it’s true though. In addition to the speech therapy and one-on-one work, one of the things my mom is doing to help her recovery from her stroke is to have lunch/coffee with a different girlfriend every day. Get her conversing in new situations with different people.

And guess who gets to accompany her on all said coffee dates….


Haha. I actually don’t mind at all.

I will say this though…I’m gathering enough intel to pen an exposé on the housewives of suburban Ohio after all this.


Haha….in another life.

But I’m also accompanying my mom to all her bible studies and book clubs.

Like I said…I’m turning in to a Red Hat Society…

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Raining Fire update and revision


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13 and the stars of heaven fell unto the earth, even as a fig tree casteth her untimely figs when she is shaken by a mighty wind.

The above adds new meaning to what I once was guessing at. For those who read my first blog post, found here , on this dream, here’s a refresher of it, and below is an update as things have become clearer for me. Be sure to take a look as I believe this to be very important.

I was sitting at the top landing of a beautiful, open stairway, in an open and spacious house. Directly above me was a huge skylight window.

I heard someone say “here it comes”. Initially confused, I asked: “here comes what?”

My attention was drawn to look above and to the rear of me, in what had previously been a beautiful blue sky. Quickly approaching was a massive, very dense, extremely dark and very ominous looking cloud. I had the sense of something evil.

Next thing I knew it was as if there was fire raining down from heaven. In amazement I watched as what looked like bolts of fire shot down from the sky, hitting objects on the earth.

I first saw one hit a massive tree. Immediately the entirety of the tree lit up in flames; I could clearly see each leaf simultaneously, yet individually, burn. The tree burned almost instantaneously, and quickly fizzled out; quicker than a 4th of July sparkler burns.

This process took place with multiple trees, but I also witnessed quick and similar demolition of statues and buildings, in particular governmental and other public buildings, as the fire bolts continued raining down from the sky.

The events came on so quickly that initially I just watched in amazement, but somehow, in the midst of it I became aware this was somehow connected to God allowing his judgement to be meted out upon the land.

After my initial fascination of what had so suddenly begun to transpire, I seemed to become aware of the extent of the destruction happening all around me and of the danger of it, to which I began to pray God would spare and protect my family, from this destruction.

After the cessation of these targeted bolts of fire raining from the sky, I was no longer on the landing inside that house; now I was viewing from a position outdoors where I was surveying the aftermath of the attack. In particular I noted broken statues, and the destruction of what were once massive public buildings that had been constructed of stone or brick.

I marveled to recognize these once large beautiful buildings were now desolate heaps of rubble. I marveled to realize how quickly something so impressive could so easily be destroyed.

Next thing I knew I was pushing a boxcar in which I had placed children as I attempted to get them to a place of safety.

I don’t know just where I was taking them, I just knew the danger was not in the physical environment that surrounded us, but instead had something to do with escaping some form of newly established government control; a regime being implemented following the destruction brought about by the rain of fire.

I’m uncertain just what the danger was; I simply knew it was urgent I get these children to safety; a process that included getting past the people of authority at set checkpoints; a feat which I was relieved to be able to manage.

It was at this point I woke up; somewhere in the early hours just past midnight. I was awake long enough to know I needed to recall this dream, after which I promptly went back to sleep.

I don’t know why I had this dream and I don’t know for certain what it means. However I believe it is something to come and I now have a strong sense it may be I was shown what a part of what will happen when the 6th seal is open, as described in REV 6:13.

Here is a link to an informative, chronological, and interesting series explaining the book of Revelation. Not only did I find it to be educational, I found it to be most interesting.I’ve attempted to post only video 19, as it was while watching that segment that I immediately recognized the significance of my dream, but I’ve been unable to post only that segment; I seem to be able to only post this link for the whole series. As I believe it an excellent series, I highly recommend viewing it in it’s entirety.

If you wish to only view the portion that pertains to the content of my blog, go to youtube and search out: The Book of Revelation – A Bible Breakdown Study Series, and find video 19, Chapter 6 part 6.

The Book of Revelation – A Bible Breakdown Study Series



P.S. I posted this update 4 days ago. Today, Sunday Feb. 19, 2017 I had the thought, now that I have a clearer understanding of what I was being shown in my dream, to do a youtube search to see if others have had a similar dream and told about it. Here is a comparative video:

Fire your futurist


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Growing up I learned bits and pieces of end time, end of days, information from my dad, but never had a clear or chronological understanding.

A few years ago I found I was most desirous to gain that understanding.

However, I found it most frustrating that I was unable to find any resources to grant me that which I desired to know and understand.


Like before, at best I was only coming up with bits and pieces that failed to give me a clear chronological picture.

This seeking is what led me to seek out youtube videos.

When, at last, (a week or so ago) I happened upon the following series I was rather excited to note each segment is reasonably short, and thus it wouldn’t take too long to get through this series, so I decided to listen to a few to see if they would be something I’d want to continue with.

I’m excited to share that I was drawn in, my attention being quickly captivated;


this series has proven to be exactly what I’ve long searched for.

For the first time I now feel like I can see the big picture of Revelation through to the Millennial Reign.

I highly recommend this series to everyone, as no matter who you are or what you believe, I believe this will affect you.